Writing and Well Being

In the spirit of DOING

There is something different about the year 2013 for me.  I don’t mean in that cliché way that every year is supposed to be different, or the year you finally get it together.   This year, the energy just feels different.

I have spent the last five years learning and dreaming. I have learned so much from the people around me, whether they were co-workers, friends, or random people I met.  The books I have read and the documentaries I have watched have also added to my knowledge.

I have spent so much time daydreaming, imagining my ideal life, filling up more notebooks than I can count with my dreams, goals and to-do lists.

But finally, I feel like DOING. I mean really doing.  I know this because lately, I’ve been feeling restless.  I don’t feel the urge to complain anymore as much as I feel compelled to DO something about it.  I have run out of excuses. Even my constant urge to procrastinate is giving way to the inevitable doing.  And that F word?  Fear is still there, but it’s not as big and menacing as it used to be.

I cannot deny that a large part of this shift is the people I surround myself with, even the people I follow on Facebook!  Positive energy is just breeding more positive energy.  And finally, it’s sinking in!

I just pray that this feeling never goes away, and that I do whatever it takes to add fuel to the fire.  Whether it’s meditating, exercising, finding a mentor or drinking green juice I am ready!

The Detox Diaries- Day 1 and 2 Recap

These past two of days have been quite a journey to say the least!  As I stated in my last blog post, this Monday I took a giant leap and decided to go on a 21 day cleanse (taken from Crazy Sexy Diet).  During this adventure cleanse, I will not be eating meat, dairy, sugar, gluten, coffee, alcohol or processed foods.  Basically, everything my average diet consists of.

But what has helped me is not focusing on what I can’t have. Something doesn’t sit right with me when I tell myself I can’t have a bunch of things.   Besides, there are a lot of things I can have that taste delicious.  Hummus, fresh fruit, freshly made juices from my juicer, homemade smoothies, salads, yum!  Because I have substitutes for my usual snacks, it is not as difficult saying no to meat and junk as I thought it would be (so far).

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On the eve of my cleanse

After a year + of reading Crazy Sexy Diet for the first time, after months of putting it off, and after a few weeks of me going back and forth about my start date, I am finally ready to go on my 21-day cleanse. 

This cleanse will consist of lots of juicing, a lot of raw plant-based foods, beans and nuts, and no refined sugars, processed foods, coffee or alcohol.

I must say, I’m nervous.  I’ve never gone on a cleanse or even a fast before and I am eager to stay on course.  The CSD book recommended that the week before I start my cleanse that I gradually phase out sugar, processed foods and meats.  But I have quickly learned that this just doesn’t work for me.  Instead, it gives me excuses to “cheat” or binge before I start.  Nope, procrastinating gals like me just have to dive in headfirst or I will keep coming up with excuses to delay my start date.

Tonight, as I filled my shopping cart with cucumbers, celery, greens, and broccoli I asked myself “Is this for real?”  Can I really do this? Be healthy?  Not reach for the ice cream, ground turkey, and chips?
 Be one of “those people?” *

At this point, I have to try.  The main reason why I am saying yes to this cleanse is because I want to feel better and look better.  I don’t want to go on a diet.  I want to make some permanent  changes to the foods I eat. I want to be conscious of everything I put in my body, and not feel so  tired, drained, sick and depressed.

I’m finally at the point where I want to change more than I want to stay the same.  My desire to step out of my comfort zone is outweighing the desire to eat frozen pizza, even though that’s what I’m used to. 

So on the eve of my journey, I am boldly saying “what the hell” and going for it.  I will be chronicling my journey here.  Wish me luck!

Our Health Revolution

Last weekend, I was inspired by two documentaries I watched on Netlfix, The Black Power Mixtape and Brother Outsider.  I’m always moved whenever I listen to or read the stories of the revolutionaries who stood for something, who were willing to put their lives on the line to make things better for others.  Be it  Malcolm X or King, Angela Davis,  Stokely Carmichael, or Bobby Seale, I’m amazed at their resilience.

In their times, the injustices, both racial and economical were blatantly obvious to the whole world.  They were fighting legalized segregation, inhumane treatment, economic disenfranchise, police brutality, and throughout it all they made their voices heard and stood up for the defenseless.  They kept going, even if some didn’t get to see the fruits of their labor during their lifetime.

The battle for equality, for humane treatment, for empowerment and justice is still relevant and necessary during our lifetime, even if we don’t fight for those battles in the same way.  I truly believe one important aspect of the revolution of our time is the revolution of our health and well-being.

We are dying.  Those of us not dealing with life-threatening illnesses are living with chronic fatigue, depression, high blood sugar, digestive problems etc.  The list goes on and on.  Our diets can barely be called food , and it’s wreaking havoc on our bodies.

Just like the revolutionaries of the past, we must educate ourselves, challenge the status quo, make necessary changes in our lifestyle, and educate others.

I want to be a part of this revolution.  I want to be a part of the movement that brings healthy foods and mental wellness to the masses.  But I know it starts with me.  In order to do the work, I’m called to do I must be well within myself and get rid of the crap I’ve been eating. 

But if you know me, you know that I’m an expert at procrastinating.  I love to put things off till the last minute at times, waiting to the fire is under my ass to get moving. But my health is something I can no longer wait for.  I’m tired of feeling fatigue, going through mood swings, getting headaches, and feeling sluggish all of the time.

So now, I’m becoming more focused on holistic health and wellness.  Armed with books, an open mind (and hopefully an affordable quality juicer) I am ready to start my food revolution, my wellness rebellion.  And  I’m not doing it just for me.  I’m sick of seeing little brown girls and boys eat Flamin Hots and honey buns for breakfast.

But be the change first, right?

“Juke Box Love Song” by Langston Hughes

creativi-d:

I could take the Harlem night

and wrap around you,

Take the neon lights and make a crown,

Take the Lenox Avenue busses,

Taxis, subways,

And for your love song tone their rumble down.

Take Harlem’s heartbeat,

Make a drumbeat,

Put it on a record, let it whirl,

And while we listen to it play,

Dance with you till day—

Dance with you, my sweet brown Harlem girl

Allowing Myself to Receive

When we think of yoga class, images of a rigorous series of Downward Facing Dogs, Warrior and Tree Poses, peppered with back bends and handstands might come to mind.  Though these challenging kind of classes are beneficial in their own right, last night in Restorative Yoga I got schooled in a whole different way.

Sometimes the most challenging yoga class is the kind when you are not attempting complicated poses; you are still, spending over 10 minutes in a simple pose with nothing but your own breath to keep you company.

It was off-putting at first.  It felt too “easy.”  I’m so used to complicating things that something as simple as staying in one pose and focusing on breath is uncomfortable.

By the end of class though, I could feel myself open up more.  I was accepting that the simplicity was exactly what I needed.  Then in the middle of one of my poses I heard these words in my head:

“Life is the gift that I allow myself to receive.”

If you are thinking to yourself that those words don’t sound original, it’s because they probably aren’t.  I’m sure I heard or read that phrase, or a variation of it somewhere and it made its way back to my consciousness in yesterday’s class.  For me those words meant:

Allowing

Enjoying the present moment

Patience

Stop doubting myself all of the time.

My heart is open to receiving.

Being happy the “right” way

There are women on my Facebook timeline I just love to look at.

Not because of a physical attraction, but because of the energy they embody.  I have met most of these people I speak of in person, so I know it’s not just a social media front.

They have a way about them that I just love.  With a contagious smile, and a confident air, they seem to radiate love.  Their energy is positive.  Their personalities shine. They express themselves freely, whether it’s through their creative works or the way they dress.  Adorned in jade, long locs down to their waist, golden bangles on their wrists or a yellow feather in their hair, they glow.

These are sort of like my heroes, and I always wonder:  what’s the secret to being happy all (well most) of the time? How did they arrive?

But lately, I’ve been realizing maybe their is no arriving.  Maybe they are just Be-ing, something I don’t always allow myself to do.  You see, I’m ambitious to a fault.  I always think my happiness is hiding somewhere under a long to-do list or list of goals.

Raised by a father who was obsessed with doing things the right way, I always secretly wonder whether I am doing this life thing the “right” way, as if there is such a thing.  I want to do everything “right”.  I want to meditate right, do yoga right, use my time the right way, and eat the right foods.  Yet I fall short of glory.  Or so I think.

I want to learn how to be like the women I know and just Be, a challenge for me who thinks enlightenment will come from a prayer, an affirmation, a yoga pose or after I (finally) decide to give up meat and sugar.  Maybe it’s just being where you’re at, acknowledging the fact that there will always be something to “work” on. Waiting to be happy now seems like a waste of energy. It’s not this mythical creature waiting to be discovered.  It’s already here, waiting to be accepted and embraced, and inhaled and hailed as sacred.